Gone Fishing: A Week of Conversation Between Burke and Nonis

Our beloved GM recently returned from his annual fishing trip where there was reportedly no phone reception, no fax reception, no internet reception and generally no way for him to execute business of any kind.

With him was his second-in-command, Dave Nonis. If you've ever gone on a trip with a co-worker then you know that no matter how hard you try not to 'talk shop', invariably a great deal of your time is spent doing just that. Here are some of the talks they may have had.

Day 1

Burke: So we're pretty stacked on D.
Nonis: Yup.
Burke: What do you think we should do?
Nonis: Trade one for a forward?
Burke: That's why you make GM money.

Day 2

Burke: Dion Phaneuf is one mean motherf...
Nonis: I think I've got a bite.
Burke: Anaheim finally cracked on Ryan?
Nonis: No, a fish.
Burke: Right. Seriously though, maybe if we take back Blake and Lupul's contracts we could land this guy.
Nonis: Think ownership will let us bury that much money?
Burke: I've already put out a hit on Peddie. We should be ok.

Day 3

Burke: What do you think of Gustavsson?
Nonis: He's good.
Burke: What do you think of Rynnas?
Nonis: He's good.
Burke: What do you think of Reimer?
Nonis: He's good.
Burke: Haha Flyers.

Day 4

Burke: Just got off the phone with Schenn. He says he's in the best shape of his life.
Nonis: Uhh, I thought you weren't getting reception.
Burke: No, that was a lie.
Nonis: You lie?
Burke: You should really start paying attention.

Day 5

Nonis: So, where are we sending Kaberle?
Burke: Nowhere.
Nonis: Nowhere?
Burke: Nowhere.
Nonis: ...
Burke: We'll sign him to a home team discount contract and ship him at the deadline. Stupid bastard wont know what hit him.
Nonis: ...
Burke: Wakeup Dave -- I told you to start paying attention.

There you have it folks -- the Leafs' plan for the rest of the offseason before your eyes.