Monday, June 14, 2010

Is Ottawa the New Edmonton?

We all know that Edmonton is the place that nobody wants to play. They have to overpay for free agents (Penner), overpay their own talent to stay (Horcoff) and even still, for various other reasons, some players just need to get out (Pronger).

Recently though, it seems that the Ottawa Senators might be giving the Oilers a run for their money in the race for the least desireable place to play.

With Dany Heatley having demanded a trade (and even still, refusing to go to Edmonton) and Jason Spezza having reportedly done the same, I've decided to compile a list of reasons that nobody wants to play in Ottawa.

1) Ugly Jerseys - SENS. Whoever thought that one up deserves a raise -- Absolute creative genius.

2) Their Home Rink - When I was a little guy, I once played in a rink that was as far away from civilization as Scotia Bank Place. It was a converted barn. The zamboni was a tractor that pulled what can only be described as a 'zamboni box' behind it. Even at eight-years-old, I knew that was bullshit.

3) It's a tough place to run a business - Many players will do various things to supplement their hockey incomes, ranging from restaurants, to sponsorships, to construction companies. In Ottawa, this is a recipe for disaster. Just ask Chris Neil.

4) It's always raining in the front office - Nobody likes being spit on. Imagine going to Ottawa to sign a big-money free agent deal while Bryan Murray says, "Thankshh for shinning with the Shensh". Yuk.

5) Liars - Nobody likes a liar and Daniel Alfredsson throws around guarantees like batteries in Philadelphia.

6) Dion Phaneuf - As a forward, do you really like the idea of flying down the wing towards an oncoming Phaneuf six times a year. Not unless you like broken collar bones you don't.

7) Goaltending - The Sens haven't had the kind of goalie that can win their team a playoff series since... The Sens have never had a goalie that can win their team a playoff series.

8) Leaf bloggers will make fun of you - We're clever, ruhtless and have large numbers and we will bring all of our spiteful wit to bear on your inadequacies. Consider yourselves warned.


Destroyko said...

Yeah, 12th, 43rd, and 73rd overall picks plus $4.25M/season for Penner. Boy, if only all teams could attract free agents like Phil Kessel at bargain-basement prices like 2nd, 32nd and ___ plus $5.4M/season...

Destroyko said...

And Jeff Finger's contract demonstrates just how stoked everyone is to come to Toronto too.

Let's face it, managerial stupidity knows no geographical boundaries.

Curt S said...

You mean Kurt Sauer, right?

The Finger deal was clearly a mistake but the point isn't that Edmonton does overpay for players, the point is that they have to. Nearly all teams, given enough time, will make bad deals (some more than others - conceded).

I would hardly say that Toronto is the type of market that has to give a contract mark up to get players to come here. The limelight might not appeal to every player but it does appeal to some.

Destroyko said...

I dunno about that. Name the last UFA to sign in Toronto for less than market value. Komisarek, Beauchemin, Blake, Finger, Kubina, Gill - all took market price or more to come here. McCabe and Tucker were both way overpriced re-signs (like Horcoff). Kaberle was a sweetheart deal (like Hemsky).

I remain unconvinced that Toronto has any demonstrable edge over Edmonton in dollars and cents despite the obvious allure of weather and city size. I just think that both managerial teams have screwed the pooch over the last decade.

Anonymous said...

Immediately after the lockout O'Neill and Allison were considered to be sub-market value contracts (though neither of them panned out).

Sens Blow said...

You neglect to remeber at every home game half the crowd wears leaf jersey's even if the leafs arent playing The seniles... but then again all sens fans are just bandwagoners from the 90's

Curt S said...

@ destroyko

Peca would be another example. You're not going to get discounts every year but the fact that you can, with some regularity, attract these guys is promising if management can use it properly.

@ sens blow

Maybe the reason they wear Leaf jerseys are because their own are so hideous.