Sh*t My Girlfriend Says (While Watching Hockey)

For the past six months I've been dating this girl and she's great.  She's pretty, she's smart and she completely supports / tolerates my obsession with hockey and the Toronto Maple Leafs.

She enjoys hockey herself and understands it fairly well, though somewhat imperfectly.  This, combined with her remarkable wit, has led to some funny perspectives and observations that I simply cannot keep to myself.

Inspired by the 'Sh*t My Dad Says' blog, I've decided to start sharing some of her comments for the enjoyment of all.

Here are a couple.

Context:  This was from a game a few weeks ago (can't quite remember which) where the Leafs were struggling mightily (now you see why I can't remember which).  They allowed a couple of goals late in the period and we had intended on putting some Pilsbury cookies in the oven between periods.  In a fit of rage, she comes out with this;

"You pathetic sons of bitches make me want to bake cookies before the period is even over!!"

Context: Last night's game against the Canucks we were on the topic of the Sedin twins.  When asked about their personality after Henrik's hissy fit following his second penalty, I described them both as robots who were devoid of any real personality.  In the third period after generating a scoring chance with some impressive passing I hear her meekly mutter;

"They're good robots..."

Context: One of the many failed drop-pass attempts last night.

"There are some things that the Leafs are completely incapable of and someone needs to tell them that the 'drop-pass' is one of those things.  They lack both the skill and the intelligence to pull it off."

Context: Leafs allow a powerplay goal against on their first penalty kill.

"Guhhh.  All this talk about Ron Wilson getting fired.  You know who needs to get fired?  The little bald guy!" (Keith Acton)